Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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