Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
did i just pee glitter
Randomize
