My nipple is on Facebook.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize