So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It's official drugs can't kill me
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
