He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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