Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
this is an emotional support booty call
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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