If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
