just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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