I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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