I'd wear matching sweaters with you
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize