That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
