I could have mohawked her pubes.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize