shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
