you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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