Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
