If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Michael Bay diarrhea
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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