who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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