the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
