His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
