she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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