All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
