I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
