Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize