Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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