Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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