We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize