ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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