Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
