i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
