dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
