I wanna bring you to show and tell
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
