i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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