absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
okay pat passed out under dana's car
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
