Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
