cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
