Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
