ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
