It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
