I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize