my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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