Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
