I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
