i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
