I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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