You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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