Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I have aggressive nipples.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
