you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
