he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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