Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
