I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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