I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
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