so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
