I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize