i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
