Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
