1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
