Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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