Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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