we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I would ride that face into the sunset
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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