hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
