I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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