Banned from zoo.
Again?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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