I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Randomize
