Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
