so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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