Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
